New Insights

January 25, 2011

So, I’ve just been given a kind of injection of new motivation and inspiration.  Yesterday afternoon, I chatted for an hour on Skype with my ol’ magic buddy, Rev. Timothy Walker.  We both lived in Little Rock many years ago during my early years in magic.  We became really good pals over the years but then, I moved to Fayetteville for that whole college thing and he moved to Indiana.  We haven’t gotten to talk a lot since then, but the stars aligned yesterday and we had a great talk.

I hate to say it, but I had forgotten how good it was to talk to him.

He’s one of the few people I know in the magic world who I feel understands me and what I’m all about; probably better than I do.  He had some great thoughts on venues for me and what it’s like to really work as a professional.  But perhaps most importantly, he reminded me of what I was like when he first saw me perform.

It was almost 10 years ago.  I was just out of high school and did magic all the time.  Strangely enough, at that early point in my magic life, I had a strong and certain direction and character.  Now, if you have been following me here, you know that I’ve been fretting these past months wondering who I am as a performer and what my style is.  I had forgotten that a decade ago, I KNEW THE ANSWER.  Looking back over that decade, I think what happened was that as things around me changed (age, school, moving to a new city, relationships ending and new relationships beginning) I thought that I was changing too and that I couldn’t go back to that old way because it couldn’t be me anymore.  I’m realizing now, that what I did over the last ten years was not change;  what I did was GROW.  On the surface, those things seem to be the same thing.  The important difference here is that I’m not a different person.  I’m the same person just with more.  I deeply apologize for this sounding all new-agey.  The point I’m getting around to here is that I feel released from worrying about the whole issue.  Just hearing someone say that at one point I had a performance style that was really me lets me know that it is in there somewhere and I don’t have to go looking for it anymore.  Whew…

I’m filled with a sense of renewed motivation and I feel like I know what I need to do next: get out there and perform.  Now the really hard part: doing it.


One Response to “New Insights”

  1. Light bulb! That’s the guy! Carol loves it, so it must be funny…and right!

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